Kiss
by LeozVinci
Summary: Leroux-based. Why Erik let Christine go after their first kiss? What did he felt? Sad one-shot


**Summary**: Always when I read the end of the Phantom of the Opera story, I ask why did Erik Christine go? What happened in it? What does he feel?  
After a long time (and about twenty readings), I wrote this one-shot.  
(also I am not national speaker, so I am terribly sorry for mistakes and I will be glad if you will review)  
Leroux-based.

Erik stopped in front of the door which was leading into the room in the Louis Phillipe style.  
He still could not believe everything that was going on.  
He still saw Christine's blue eyes looking in his soul and promising to be his in his memories. Just his and no one else.  
She was waiting for him in a room that had long since become her room now.  
He looked at the door like he were searching for answers to all the burning questions.  
Why Christine suddenly agreed to be his wife?  
Why she allowed it and is still alive?  
How did he even get into this situation?  
He carefully opened the door and looked into the room. She stood there.  
His beautiful bride stood waiting for him there.  
She was more beautiful than ever.  
He came carefully to her. He knew he should say something. He knew that he should do something, but he couldn't even make a sound at the moment.  
He, who was able to do miracles with his voice, stood there, mute and defenceless as a bare baby bird waiting for his parents' mercy.  
She lied her head on his chest and he did the most natural thing he could. He kissed her at forehead.  
It was the first time in his life.  
A thing that is so simple and natural to every person in the world. Something that had been forbidden for him until this day.  
Mothers kissed their children routinely, the lovers kissed on the park benches usually, and this unique tribute was always forbidden to him until now.  
And she didn't die. She stood in front of him and let him to kiss her forehead.  
He fell to his knees in front of her and wept.  
How was it possible that Christina was so willing? Did she really love him? Did she really not feel even a bit of disgust to him when she allowed him to kiss her?  
Kneeling in front of her, he felt his tears piled under his mask and slowly choking him.  
He let them choke him. Just like all the darkness of his mind was choking him.  
How is it possible that Christina allowed such a thing? Why did she let him to kiss her?  
Will she act during their wedding equally? During their wedding night? Will she be willing to look at him not just at the monster, but a man? Will she be willing to bear him by her side for the rest of her life? Will she be willing to look at him every day and every night?  
Will she be willing even to carry his child?  
Would he be able to endure the feeling that she was doing all this out of pity?  
Just from coercion?  
He would not be worse than an animal, than a monster, which everybody sees in him.  
He looked at her.  
She could not love him, and he could not keep her with him because of his undying love.  
To slowly die with a living corpse.  
He saw how she started crying and her tears trickled him to his forehead.  
It was more than he was able to bear.  
He tore off his mask and finally took a free breath.  
His tears no longer choked him. He was no longer suffocated with his remorse or his inner darkness.  
He closed his eyes and kissed the hem of her skirts. He felt her tears mingling with his own.  
Then she bent down and kissed the top of his head suddenly.  
He felt like his heart had stopped.  
He opened his eyes and looked slowly into the face of the woman he loved so much.  
Woman who was the first living being who kissed him.  
Suddenly he could feel no internal pain.  
All he felt was freedom.  
The woman he loved without bounds, who kissed him, and who shared this unique moment with him, saved him.  
She saved him from his darkness and the ever-present, devastating hatred he felt for himself.  
He could not hold her anymore.  
"Poor, unhappy Erik"  
Her quiet voice was like a sudden revelation of celestial chanting.  
In his ears he heard the last tones of his lifelong composition.  
This kiss was the last tone and her voice was the last crescendo in his _Don Juan Triumphant_.  
He looked at the poor girl who had shown him such mercy, and for the first time in his life he felt no darkness but the light inside.  
He felt that the girl had saved him.  
That day had all the happiness of the world in his hands.  
Slowly he stood in front of the girl and knew he had to prove her love to her.  
For the first time in his life, he had a pure mind, freed from hatred and pain.  
He took the ring he'd given her from his love and she lost it.  
He put it in her hand as the last gift from him.  
Then he left the room to return her kindness that she showed him.  
She gave him freedom and he didn't want to give her anything less in return.  
He returned to the darkness, but could not feel anything but the light she had given him.  
The darkness never returned.  
Not even the day the newspaper printed a few odd words.  
"Erik is dead."


End file.
